Why Don';t You Speak Up For Yourself?

Why Don’t You Speak Up For Yourself?
 by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

My counseling clients often complain to me about interactions they had with a partner, friend, parents or co-worker. When I asked the question, “Why didn’t you speak up for yourself?” here are the most common answers I receive:

“I want to keep the peace.”

“I don’t want to rock the boat.”

“I didn’t know what to say.”

“It won’t change anything.”

“He/she won’t listen.”

“We will just end up fighting.”

“He/she will make it my fault.”

Charlie is in his early 70’s, and has been married to Esther for 43 years. Charlie and Esther love each other very much, but there has always been a problem in their marriage, and Charlie finally decided to get some help with it.

The issue is that Esther often speaks to Charlie with a harsh, demeaning, parental tone – telling him what to do. All these years, Charlie’s way of dealing with this…

Read the full article from usatoday.com…

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