Stephen Colbert Thinks We’d Rather Keep Our Web Browsing to Ourselves

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Stephen Colbert couldn’t imagine anyone telling an internet company, “I demand you let somebody else make money off my shameful desires.”

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CBS

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Web Insecurity

A day after House Republicans voted to let internet companies sell customers’ browsing information without permission, Stephen Colbert led the late-night blowback.

“I guarantee you there’s not one person, not one voter of any political stripe anywhere in America, who asked for this. No one in America stood up in a town hall and said, ‘Sir, I demand you let somebody else make money off my shameful desires. Maybe blackmail me someday!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“I can’t believe they’re publicly taking the side of big internet cable companies. Taking the side of a cable company? The only thing less popular would be if they passed a bill allowing traffic jams to call you during dinner, to give you gonorrhea.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

Video by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Seth Meyers was more blasé about the bill’s passage. He said he hadn’t really believed internet privacy existed anyway.

“The House of Representatives yesterday passed a bill that would reduce internet privacy protections. Wait, there are internet privacy protections? Yesterday I thought about a sweater, and an ad for it popped up on Facebook.” — SETH MEYERS

Hello, You Haven’t Reached Morgan Freeman

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Morgan Freeman told Seth Meyers about the downside of having such an in-demand voice.

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NBC

Morgan Freeman is the owner of one of the most famous voices in the United States. He’s narrated an array of films…

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