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A day after House Republicans voted to let internet companies sell customers’ browsing information without permission, Stephen Colbert led the late-night blowback.
“I guarantee you there’s not one person, not one voter of any political stripe anywhere in America, who asked for this. No one in America stood up in a town hall and said, ‘Sir, I demand you let somebody else make money off my shameful desires. Maybe blackmail me someday!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I can’t believe they’re publicly taking the side of big internet cable companies. Taking the side of a cable company? The only thing less popular would be if they passed a bill allowing traffic jams to call you during dinner, to give you gonorrhea.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Seth Meyers was more blasé about the bill’s passage. He said he hadn’t really believed internet privacy existed anyway.
“The House of Representatives yesterday passed a bill that would reduce internet privacy protections. Wait, there are internet privacy protections? Yesterday I thought about a sweater, and an ad for it popped up on Facebook.” — SETH MEYERS
Hello, You Haven’t Reached Morgan Freeman
Morgan Freeman is the owner of one of the most famous voices in the United States. He’s narrated an array of films…