Erin Stewart: Learning and failing to put down my phone and pay attention to my kids

I vowed I would never be one of those moms who was always on her phone. The mom who is checking Facebook, looking at pictures of other people’s children while her own swings at the park right in front of her.

So I held out on even getting a smartphone for a long time. When I traded in my flip-phone, the store clerks all came over to marvel at my black-and-white relic of a communication device.

Now, years later, I’m afraid I’ve gone to the dark side.

I try. Oh, I try. I’ve tried all the things that are supposed to help me put down the phone and live in the moment. I put my phone in the backseat so I’m not tempted to take a quick look at stoplights. I have a designated charging spot at home so I don’t always have my phone with me. I remind myself to put the phone down when my child or husband is talking to me rather than telling them, “Go ahead. I can listen.”

But somehow, the phone always wins. It creeps up from the backseat, and the quick stoplight glance turns into a longer check when I’m parked and my kids are itching to get out. The charging spot sits empty because I always carry my phone in my back pocket. And as much as I hate to admit it, I find myself holding full conversations with my kiddos while checking my email or scheduling next week’s whatever it is.

I’m guilty of saying the things I vowed I’d never say like “just one minute” or “I just need to check one thing” or “I’m listening but I have to do this, too.”

So a photography project titled “Removed” by artist Eric Pickersgill hit home to me. His series of photographs, which came out a few years ago, show people in various situations, looking at their electronic devices. But the artist removed the devices, a simple change that reveals the absurdity of the situation. The people are looking at nothing, which is such an apt metaphor for so many of the things I look at each day on my phone. For me, the photos that spoke the loudest were the images of people who were together, perhaps even physically touching, but were mentally miles away with the people or things on their screens.

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